by Connie Habash | Oct 25, 2022 | Action, Articles, Empowerment, Fear, Perspective
The definition of fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” I find this definition very helpful because it distinguishes actual threat (which would be true danger of harm) from the belief that something could be dangerous. Anxiety is essentially a repetitive state of fear, a state of awareness focused on what could be fearful. We perpetuate the belief that something could be dangerous, and that arouses a state of anxiety.
by Connie Habash | Oct 28, 2021 | Articles, Empowerment, Enough, Essence, Nonattachment, True Self
It’s common to believe that, in order to be enough, we have to keep doing more. The truth is that you are already enough, just as you are – without any doing. Let go of your attachment to the idea of “you” and be your True Self! Often, when I...
by Connie Habash | Feb 28, 2019 | anger, Anxiety, Challenges, Depression, Empowerment, Grief, Release, relief
Let’s face it – we all go through difficult times. Everyone experiences some pain, whether physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional, at some point in their life. During those challenging times, our tendency is to grasp for relief. Just like when we get a headache or...
by Connie Habash | Jan 16, 2018 | Challenges, Empowerment, Healing, journey, Transformation
I’ve been on a path of personal healing for a long time (probably like you). Physically, I have had acid reflux for over 3 years now, which has launched me into new and unprecedented explorations of healing. Mentally and emotionally, my healing journey has been much longer, dating back to my days of depression in my teens and 20’s.
I’ve come a long way, but often I find myself hopeful of a cure. We all look for the quickest, easiest way to feel better, on any level. Of course we would prefer instant well-being – who wouldn’t?
But I have also reflected on the difference between what it is to heal vs. what it is to cure. It’s a big difference, and worth considering as you follow your own path of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
by Connie Habash | Jan 28, 2014 | Action, Appreciation, Choices, Empowerment, Possibilities, Potential, Right Action, Small
I’m tired of everyone telling me to think bigger. “You need to play on a bigger field! You’re capable of so much more!” Does that message ever exasperate you?
It sets us up for feeling we’re not enough as we are. And that whatever we do, it doesn’t measure up, or isn’t significant enough. We’ll never feel at peace within, because we’re always comparing ourselves to what we think we should be and do – bigger, better, and more of.
by Connie Habash | May 3, 2013 | Action, anger, Authenticity, Choices, Empowerment, Energy, Fear, Judgment, Right Action
It’s quite common in spiritual circles to put down anger. Anger is bad, they say. Or anger is unenlightened. We must transcend our anger. We must think loving, good thoughts, and put all that anger out of our mind.
Hogwash.
Saying that anger is bad, whether it’s tacit or directly stated, is just another way that we beat ourselves up and deny our truth and empowerment. It’s an easy way to judge and criticize ourselves or others for anything less than perfect behavior.
by Connie Habash | Apr 7, 2013 | Action, Choices, Courage, Empowerment, Fear, Illusion, Right Action, Tolerance, Transformation, Trust
Everyone deals with difficulties in life. Sooner or later, something scares us. It may be the aging process, a snake, the fear of rejection, or a dwindling bank account.
Gone are the days when we have to worry about lions chasing us (unless, of course, you live in Kenya). Fear has become more subtle. In the words of Kristin Neff, PhD, author of Self-Compassion, now our fears arise not just from dark alleys or sounds that go bump in the night, but from “threats to our self-concept” – the idea of who we think we are. Yet, they end up causing similar levels of stress in the body as that lion chasing us. The fear that runs us, day in and day out, is the fear that we’re unlovable, of being bad, wrong, or a failure.
React or Respond
When we are faced with fear, we have two possible choices: react or respond. When we react, we allow fear to run us, to control our emotions, our actions, our words. But when we respond, we transform a moment of fear into a moment of empowerment.
What is a fear reaction? When we are exposed to a traumatic situation, there are three reactions that occur: fight, flight, and freeze (see Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine). The kind of fear I’m referring to, however, isn’t life or death situations, although learning how to respond rather than react in those is very helpful. In our day-to-day lives, it is the little fears – the perceived threats to our self-concept – that disempower us and cause us to react.
It is in these little fears that we have the opportunity to change our lives. And we see three similar reactions to those little fears: fight, flight, and freeze.
