by Connie Habash | Oct 25, 2022 | Action, Articles, Empowerment, Fear, Perspective
The definition of fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” I find this definition very helpful because it distinguishes actual threat (which would be true danger of harm) from the belief that something could be dangerous. Anxiety is essentially a repetitive state of fear, a state of awareness focused on what could be fearful. We perpetuate the belief that something could be dangerous, and that arouses a state of anxiety.
by Connie Habash | Jun 9, 2020 | Action, Awareness, Change, Consciousness, Oneness, Polarities, Transformation, Unity
In this current crisis of George Floyd’s wrongful death and the re-igniting of the Black Lives Matter movement, we’re seeing the polarity of Victim-Tyrant playing out through racism.
It isn’t a new polarity – it has been perpetuated over and over through millenia with people of different races, religions, cultures, genders, and sexual orientations. It shows up even within abusive families. It also plays out through the plight of the planet at the hands of the tyrant of the human race. Every one of us can relate, in some way, to being victimized and, if we’re honest, occasionally being tyrannical.
by Connie Habash | Mar 14, 2017 | Acceptance, Action, Connection, Determination, Faith, Neutrality, Oneness, Persistence, Seeking
My family and I were determined to get outdoors to enjoy the lovely weather the last few days, and headed to Huddart Park for a hike on Sunday. We adore this nearby natural gem, filled with redwoods, bay laurels, and tan oaks, and a beautiful (and quite full after the rains!) creek running through it.
We marveled at the wildflowers already in bloom – some dainty, five-petaled white blossoms, and the sweet lavender flowers of redwood sorrel, which I had never seen in bloom before. They were profuse and a delight to the eyes.
Near the last half-mile of our modest adventure my daughter and I stopped at a stream, as we often do, to explore and to enjoy rock face painting. This is something she learned from Katie Hicks at our last retreat at Ananda Valley Farm. Taking a rock about the size of your palm in one hand, you select a colorful rock that can easily be held by the other, and rub it on the rock. After a minute or so, viola – paint is created! We enjoyed decorating each other’s faces in reddish-brown and greyish-yellow designs.
My husband decided to move along the trail ahead of us while we were immersed in our playfulness. He stepped off-trail at another familiar spot along the creek, headed a bit upstream, and sat down on a beautiful, warm, sunny spot on the slope about 10 feet above the creek. It was peaceful, meditative, and relaxing.
As my daughter and I finished up our faces, we headed up the trail to catch up with Michael. We looked upstream and didn’t see him, so we figured he must have headed back to the car. After 30 minutes of waiting for him in the parking lot, he arrived, looking a bit flustered. Upon descending the slope where he had sat in quiet reflection, he slipped and fell on his hip. His knee was scraped, and he was OK, but quite unhappy. Not because of his injuries, but because in the process his wedding band slipped off his finger, and it was nowhere in sight.
by Connie Habash | Feb 8, 2017 | Action, Choices, Intention, Judgment, Love
February – a month that, stereotypically, we turn towards greeting cards with red and pink hearts, roses, chocolates, and are inundated with commercials about diamond jewelry. Valentine’s Day is around the corner, and whether it’s something you relish or are repulsed by, it’s here in our western culture.
I tend to avoid writing about this topic, but this year some new insights flowed in. Many of my clients and students struggle with the feeling of being lovable. This time of year can be triggering, causing some to feel lonely and lacking in romance. Others are disgusted at the commercial aspects, the commodification of love. And many of us continue to explore what is love, and what is the nature of our lovableness?
by Connie Habash | May 8, 2014 | Action, Beginning, Challenges, Change, Goals, Right Action, Uncategorized
I like to walk on the treadmill at the gym, since I don’t have a nice hilly area right out the door to walk. When I say “like”, however, that may not be the most accurate description.
For the first several minutes, I constantly look at the time – how much longer? It feels like a lot of effort, my legs feel stiff, my muscles cold and complaining. I question whether I can really do this today. I don’t feel like going up those hills, or walking so fast, or expending the effort. It seems daunting, and I am tempted to stop.
by Connie Habash | Jan 28, 2014 | Action, Appreciation, Choices, Empowerment, Possibilities, Potential, Right Action, Small
I’m tired of everyone telling me to think bigger. “You need to play on a bigger field! You’re capable of so much more!” Does that message ever exasperate you?
It sets us up for feeling we’re not enough as we are. And that whatever we do, it doesn’t measure up, or isn’t significant enough. We’ll never feel at peace within, because we’re always comparing ourselves to what we think we should be and do – bigger, better, and more of.
by Connie Habash | May 3, 2013 | Action, anger, Authenticity, Choices, Empowerment, Energy, Fear, Judgment, Right Action
It’s quite common in spiritual circles to put down anger. Anger is bad, they say. Or anger is unenlightened. We must transcend our anger. We must think loving, good thoughts, and put all that anger out of our mind.
Hogwash.
Saying that anger is bad, whether it’s tacit or directly stated, is just another way that we beat ourselves up and deny our truth and empowerment. It’s an easy way to judge and criticize ourselves or others for anything less than perfect behavior.
by Connie Habash | Apr 7, 2013 | Action, Choices, Courage, Empowerment, Fear, Illusion, Right Action, Tolerance, Transformation, Trust
Everyone deals with difficulties in life. Sooner or later, something scares us. It may be the aging process, a snake, the fear of rejection, or a dwindling bank account.
Gone are the days when we have to worry about lions chasing us (unless, of course, you live in Kenya). Fear has become more subtle. In the words of Kristin Neff, PhD, author of Self-Compassion, now our fears arise not just from dark alleys or sounds that go bump in the night, but from “threats to our self-concept” – the idea of who we think we are. Yet, they end up causing similar levels of stress in the body as that lion chasing us. The fear that runs us, day in and day out, is the fear that we’re unlovable, of being bad, wrong, or a failure.
React or Respond
When we are faced with fear, we have two possible choices: react or respond. When we react, we allow fear to run us, to control our emotions, our actions, our words. But when we respond, we transform a moment of fear into a moment of empowerment.
What is a fear reaction? When we are exposed to a traumatic situation, there are three reactions that occur: fight, flight, and freeze (see Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine). The kind of fear I’m referring to, however, isn’t life or death situations, although learning how to respond rather than react in those is very helpful. In our day-to-day lives, it is the little fears – the perceived threats to our self-concept – that disempower us and cause us to react.
It is in these little fears that we have the opportunity to change our lives. And we see three similar reactions to those little fears: fight, flight, and freeze.
by Connie Habash | Mar 16, 2013 | Action, Birth, Manifestation, Movement, Play, Rebirth, Spring, Transformation, Uncategorized
As winter comes to an end, I find that I’m a bit antsy. I’ve been sitting with what is all winter, and now the time to sit has come to an end. Spring calls us to come out of our wintering nests and get on the move!
