The Ease of Letting Go
Trying to control creates anxiety – but letting go brings me ease.
A half hour before writing this blog, I fixed myself some lunch. I was making a salad, and needed to peel some cucumbers. Wanting the peels to be easy to clean up, I had a compost box in front of me and set out to peel over it, so the skins would land right into the box and there’d be no clean up.
After 3 whips of my veggie peeler, I had flung 2 of the peels onto the floor.
It wasn’t that I wasn’t present enough. I was relaxed, breathing, and focused on my task. It’s simply the fact that you can’t control everything (or maybe that I suck at peeling cucumbers).
How to Survive – and Thrive – at Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving: a unique American holiday that is universal, unlimited by religion, race, or any category. It’s a special time to come together with family and friends to feel gratitude on this day of the celebration of abundance (oh yeah, and feasting!).
But for some of us, this isn’t an entirely pleasant holiday. We may be faced with “going home” to tension, crazy family dynamics, feeling ignored or attacked, possibly being the black sheep of the family. Perhaps you are hosting a large gathering, and stressed about pleasing everyone’s palates – or having everyone in your house! There may be a recent loss in the family that makes holidays, especially the most family-oriented one of the year, somewhat painful. Or we may be apart from our family, or feel that we don’t have one, and are faced with spending this holiday alone.
Cutting My Hair
I sat in the hairdresser’s chair, elevated enough so that I could see my reflection in the mirror before me. I asked her to take a photo from the back to show my long tresses, flowing in waves and soft curls almost down to my waist. This was going to be a big change, and I wanted to have a visual memory of it.
For almost my entire life I’ve worn my hair long, with the exception of two short periods in my childhood that I decided to experiment – which turned out poorly – and four years in college where I wore my curls about chin length. I’ve strongly identified myself with the image of long hair – but is it Who I Am?
Recently, I’ve been revisiting this image, and the attachment I have towards aspects of myself, superficial or internal. The need to be the expert and to know what I’m doing. To shy away from getting dirty. To avoid taking risks. And, on a surface level, a woman with long hair. I’ve limited myself by these ideas of who I am.
Be in the Flow
The morning I wrote this post, I took a Tai Chi class. I find this practice challenging in a different way than I’m used to with yoga. Every time I have taken a class – only a handful of times – I try my best to “get” the movement of the energy and enjoy it.
I’m not that great at it. My mind is too focused on getting it right and not allowing the flow to happen. I get glimpses, where I feel the energy and simply allow the movements, but most of the time I’m looking at the instructor in the mirror and wondering, should I have my elbow up higher? In Waving Hands Like Clouds, does my hand pass by my face or my throat? How far out should my foot be turned? Should I be inhaling or exhaling?
Intellectually, I know that the idea is really to feel the energy and move it around. And I can do that. But not usually at the same time that I am trying to learn a precise action. I get stuck between being in the flow, and being correct. This is a common problem with our minds.
Ready to Relax
School’s out and summer is here. I’m ready to relax – how about you?
What I realize, though, is that I really didn’t have to wait until summer. I could have learned to relax all along.
We tend to carry so much tension in our bodies – running our lives by the clock, stressing about deadlines or bills, rushing to the next appointment, working longer hours at work or on homework. Is it all really worth it?
