Your Inner Witness – the First Step to Release Suffering

witnessing a soccer matchThe first step to overcoming debilitating emotions or agitating thoughts is cultivating the Inner Witness.

When we want to create positive change in our lives – and especially in our emotions – it’s important to recognize that thoughts exacerbate those emotions. Often, when we believe we’re feeling an emotion, we’re actually thinking  the emotion. We’re repeating thoughts over and over again that feed into the worry, anger, sadness, or overwhelm.

Change Yourself Without Judging Yourself

woman covering her face in self-judgmentDo you struggle with self-judgment? You’re not alone. It’s a fallacy to believe that you have to judge yourself in order to change. Here’s a more gentle and transformative way.

Every one of us has habits that we’d like to change. On the path of personal growth and awakening, this is especially true of our mental habits. It takes a firm resolve to transform negative thought patterns into positive ones. But we cause unnecessary upset by judging ourselves whenever we catch our minds in the act of the less-than-desirable behavior.

Loved and Lovable

February – a month that, stereotypically, we turn towards greeting cards with red and pink hearts, roses, chocolates, and are inundated with commercials about diamond jewelry. Valentine’s Day is around the corner, and whether it’s something you relish or are repulsed by, it’s here in our western culture.

I tend to avoid writing about this topic, but this year some new insights flowed in. Many of my clients and students struggle with the feeling of being lovable. This time of year can be triggering, causing some to feel lonely and lacking in romance. Others are disgusted at the commercial aspects, the commodification of love. And many of us continue to explore what is love, and what is the nature of our lovableness?

Anger is Unspiritual (NOT!)

lightningIt’s quite common in spiritual circles to put down anger. Anger is bad, they say. Or anger is unenlightened. We must transcend our anger. We must think loving, good thoughts, and put all that anger out of our mind.

Hogwash.

Saying that anger is bad, whether it’s tacit or directly stated, is just another way that we beat ourselves up and deny our truth and empowerment. It’s an easy way to judge and criticize ourselves or others for anything less than perfect behavior.

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