I Don’t Need a Bucket List – Do You?
Everyone has been talking about bucket lists for years, but I find they just create more anxiety. Here’s what I do instead.
It’s all over social media. Just checked one off my bucket list, as they post an amazing selfie from the Himalayas or while scuba diving with sharks. People have jumped on the bandwagon of this trend to create a list of all the things they have ever wanted to do before they “kick the bucket.”
I like lists, too. I have my to-do list, my goal list, my list of classes that I would like to take someday, etc. But the idea of a bucket list bothers me.
It’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself; to have these 10, 50, 200 things that you want to do before you die. When I was in my 20’s, that was a cool idea. I hadn’t done that much and hadn’t seen that many places. So it made sense to me back then (although the term hadn’t come into use at that time).
Having that bucket list feels anxiety-provoking. What happens if you get older, and things still aren’t checked off? A competition begins with others who are ticking off their items – will you feel that you’re behind? What if your fear about trying some of those things holds you back? What if you spend so much time planning for fulfilling X amount of bucket list items per year that you aren’t really appreciating what you have? The idea of a bucket list should be fun and exciting, not stressful and overwhelming.
A Deeper Level of Self-Care
It’s the beginning of the year, and I have been looking at the fact that, in my mad scramble to get my book finished, I have not been so good at self-care the last couple of months. Meditation has been sporadic, yoga practice minimal, trips to the gym only 1-2 times per week, rather than my ideal 3-4. Only been on one hike. Getting to bed too late.
I’ve been pretty disappointed in myself, but also embraced and accepted that part of my deadlines to meet involved putting a lot of condensed time into editing and preparing for the book launch.
Still, it’s been gnawing at me, and I knew that it was an excuse. My soul longs to be back on track. Ever since I was sick over Thanksgiving, it’s been hard to get back up on the horse, build up my conditioning again, and return to the habits that keep me feeling healthy, whole, and energized. I need to get self-care back into my regimen.
Then, I read Angela Lauria’s blog (she’s The Author Incubator – the program that pulled this book out of me!) She’s dropping self-care. What? I knew there was more to the story, so I read on.
5 Things the Butterfly Taught Me
On a pilgrimage to Mount Shasta, butterflies became my spiritual teachers.
One of my favorite places in the world is Mount Shasta, and of all the sacred and beautiful locales around this mountain, I love a particular meadow about half-way up the slope. The source of its beauty – that nourishes the abundant life there – is a pristine spring.
This is where I like to sit when I visit, right next to the spring. Not only am I able to hear its sweet trickling sound and dip my feet in the freshly-melted-from-the-glacier water, but I’m able to look over the many wildflowers blooming around the tiny stream. And along with the flowers come the butterflies.
I’ve only been to a couple places that had more butterflies (I have seen Monarchs on their migration). There’s a lovely variety of them, too – orange and brown, white, periwinkle. They tend to linger nearby on the warm step stones, not just on the flowers. And this is when I get excited, because I love to coax them onto my fingers.
Sing Your Song
Every morning, shortly after I wake, I do my “sit-spot” practice outside in our front yard. This is a practice of simply sitting and being present with everything in nature. It’s a beautiful way to begin my day with the freshness of the morning air, the sun beginning to peek through the leaves, the squirrels racing up and down the oak trees, and most of all, the birdsong.
I relish hearing the variety of birds in our neighborhood. On those beautiful, bright, sunny mornings it is pure delight to sit by our grassy patch and hear a bird calling from the tall redwood tree 5 houses down to the right, and to hear the high-pitched clicking sound of a hummingbird as it zooms in for a drink from our Mexican sage.
This morning, however, was quite different than the others for the last couple of months. It was dense with cloud-cover, and rain was expected. For California in June, this is rare. With ordinary eyes, one might wake up, see the dismal looking skies, and decide to just pull the covers over the head and go back to sleep. A dreary, cloudy day.
Be Like A Bird
I love to sit in my backyard – just taking in whatever I see, hear, and feel. This practice is called the “sit-spot” – a technique used by naturalists to immerse themselves in the experience of a chosen location in nature, to get to know the flora and fauna in a much more intimate way.
My eyes captured a bird, hopping on the ground. It was clearly an insect eater – small, with a long, pointed beak. I wanted it to come closer, but it slipped through the lattice work of the fence to my neighbor’s yard. I decided that if I wanted to know this bird better, why not be like a bird?
Meditate by Hand
There’s something fulfilling for me about writing by hand with a pen. The contact of the pen on paper, my hand sliding across the page, the flowing movements, and especially when I am pleased with the forms the letters take. It is very soul-satisfying.
Steps to Santosha
We all have times when we’re faced with fears or challenges. It’s part of life.
But sometimes those challenges seem overwhelming. Our minds blow them up into crises, replaying the many terrifying, possible scenarios over and over again in our minds, until we become agitated, anxious, or immobilized.
Are any of those scenarios actually happening? Chances are pretty good that they aren’t. But our bodies do not know the difference. When the mind creates images and thoughts that are fearful, our bodies react with the same chemicals that are produced when we are faced with a true threat to our life.
Which means that we are creating unnecessary stress and trauma in our minds, with little or no basis in reality. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
